so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
