Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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