she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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