i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
