I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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