I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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