we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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