If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize