New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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