dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize