i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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