Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
