i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
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threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
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Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize