I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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