The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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