apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize