Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
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and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
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I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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