Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize