Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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