Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize