ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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