me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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