So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
