When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.