My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly