i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
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Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick