Nicole vs. Life
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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