im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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