i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
