Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize