So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...