I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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