We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Holy sore nipples Batman
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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