she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
