Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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