that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
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She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
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Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
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