Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize