sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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