we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
