The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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