its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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