Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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