We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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