Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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