I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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