We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
