I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize