the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
