at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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