shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
