im having a threesome with these popsicles
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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