he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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